After having had the opportunity to have to join the 12-step program, incredible things happened in my life. When the material came into my hands, I never suspected that I would find so many coincidences with my personal work in it.
Not having lived close experiences of addictions to alcohol, drugs or cigarettes, was never an impediment to discover my own addictions. My addiction to suffering, fear, crying, being the victim, always being right, being the owner of the truth, judging, pride, seeing defects in others are some of those that come to mind right now; some of which I have completely healed, some of which I have partially healed, and some of which I have to begin to heal, all thanks to the 12-step program for addiction treatment.
My addiction to crying and suffering was the pioneer in my healing process. In fact, I fulfilled the first step without even knowing that the 12 steps existed because eventually, that moment came when I said to myself,”Enough already.” There must be another better way.
This happened when I could no longer carry the load of suffering that ruled my life, and I couldn’t enjoy even a minute of peace. I got tired of and annoyed with feeling bad and decided to seek help, and I spent years looking for something that would give me the peace I badly needed. I looked for conventional means of help. They worked momentarily; once the enthusiasm effect ended, the pain returned. It was not until I came to the psychotherapy of the soul that connected me with that Higher Power of which the 12-step program speaks in the second step. I managed to find that peace I longed for and finally broke my addiction to pain.
Later, without knowing that it was the fourth step, I wrote a letter to myself, in which I asked myself to change the things that no longer worked and do that made me feel happy again. Something happened then as I got to feel so comfortable and confident. Today, I’m capable of many things I was ashamed of before, and I stopped doing many others that caused me harm.
Now, I have totally different experiences. I feel free and happy that I didn’t feel for a long time. I think I wouldn’t change that feeling for anything in the world. An important person in my healing process told me that it was my real nature. At that moment, I didn’t understand it, but I did experience it. Today, thanks to 12 step program and other experiences, I think I’ve made it conscious, and I know that it’s true that this is my true nature, and I’m aware of other things I had simply forgotten. I also know I can remember it, and it’s the reason I’ve decided to dare to do it.
There are still many addictions that I want to heal, and I believe that the process has to be more solid since I have made it conscious. I know that it’s not important to always be right because, from different viewpoints, the reason is always different. I also know that anger and pride cause more damage in me than any other and that I no longer like it as much as before judging people. There’s constant vigilance on my part regarding these aspects and a deep conviction that my sins are only mistakes that must be corrected, and I have time and forgiveness for that.